


The Old-fashioned Way

by Gilli_ann



Series: Pornathon challenge fics 2014 [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Magic, Reincarnation, Romantic Comedy, Summer Pornathon 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 18:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2280708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilli_ann/pseuds/Gilli_ann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur gives Merlin some tempting incentives to hold back on his magic use now and then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Old-fashioned Way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Challenge 6 - _"Cycles"_

**The Old-fashioned Way**

 

“A washing machine?” Merlin said in horror. “You can't be serious!”

“Entirely serious,” Arthur replied calmly. 

“We don't need one! I remove our blood and dirt and sweat and spunk with a mere flick of my wrist!” 

“I had it installed today.”

Merlin frowned, confused. “Why would we waste time waiting _hours_ for a machine to finish, and then maybe have to fold and iron and... and whatever it is ordinary people _do_ with their laundry?”

“Just listen to yourself,” Arthur said, shaking his head. “We're here to protect the people. You must be able to identify with their lives. Remember when you actually polished my armour and brought me my meals with your very own hands?”

He looked into Merlin's eyes. “I love you dearly, powerful magic and all, but every time the cycle of reincarnation brings me back to you, our lives have become even less mundane. You manage our cooking and cleaning and world surveillance with brazen sorcery.”

“Because it's efficient," Merlin grumbled. "Once the next warlock bent on world destruction shows up – and you know it won't be long – we can't tell his evil minions to wait while the washer finishes, so we'll have clean socks to put on.”

“When the next warlock appears, what we don't want is our neighbours alerting the forces of darkness to our presence. If the Smiths think we're just ordinary blokes doing laundry, they won't be curious about the rumbling din from our place. It's just that troublesome noisy old washer, you know, it's neither you casting thunder-spells to incapacitate hell-hounds, nor me dispatching zombies with Excalibur.” 

He nudged Merlin gently. “You never know which special skills will be required. Knowledge of fabric softeners and colour-preserving detergents may help us win the next war.”

"Bollocks." Merlin sulked. "I'll show you colours.” 

A hand gesture, a muttered spell, and Arthur's jeans and shirt started cycling through the bright hues of the rainbow. 

“Merlin! Stop it! I look like a disco ball!”

Merlin grinned. “Remember last time we saved the world? The crazy Seventies! Your 'Saturday Night Fever' get-up was totally hot.” 

He squeezed Arthur's shoulder, which shifted from violet via red to orange. "You managed some groovy moves on the dance floor to vanquish that monstrous disco demon.” 

“Your power-zapping spells during 'Dancing Queen' made all the difference.”

Merlin shivered. He snuggled closer. “But you died! I _hate_ it every time you die from me.”

“What's important is that I'm back now. And we're going to use our washing machine.”

“Single-mindedly focused on your goal, as always.”

“Indeed. Let's look at the instructions.”

“How old-fashioned!” Merlin glanced at Arthur's booklet and groaned. “Pre-soak....extra delicate... synthetic fibres.....water temperature. Too many choices! Aaargh!”

Arthur nuzzled Merlin's neck. “It beats the old washboard and tub routine, wouldn't you say? And I have an idea: Every time we use that machine, we'll replicate its programme - in bed. That's a solemn promise, immortal sorcerer of mine. How's that for motivation, hmmm?”

Merlin's eyes brightened. “So if we choose, say, the _Steam treatment_ cycle, you'll.... ?”

“Blow you in the shower, of course.” 

"Brilliant!" Merlin squeaked with glee. “What about _Permanent press, fast/slow_?”

Arthur's tongue sneaked out to lick at Merlin's pink ear. “I'll hold you down and take you, fast and hard. Then you can top and go as slow as you please, until I beg for mercy.... or the washer finishes.“

“You've convinced me! Two blokes doing laundry - let's start right now!" 

His eyes suddenly glowing pure gold, Merlin whisked away every item of Arthur's colour-shifting clothes. They disappeared into the washer. Arthur was left sitting stark naked on the couch. 

“Merlin!” 

Merlin winked and magicked his own clothes away too.

Arthur grumbled. “No sorcery, remember?”

Merlin threw himself at Arthur, knocking him backwards and straddling him eagerly. “That was while _washing_. You didn't mention preparations.”

Arthur laughed, covered in nude wriggling sorcerer. “When did you become such a nitpicker?”

Merlin added washing powder and pushed control buttons from across the room. “Since you made me use a _machine_ to.... uhm, handle knits?“

He rubbed against Arthur urgently, full-body hot skin on skin, his hands reaching for the hardening royal cock. “I'll have you know I just started the _Heavy duty with maximum spin_ cycle. You'd better get with the programme, your Majesty!”


End file.
